As you are reading this post I am on my way to the hospital for my c-section to bring a new sweet life in to this world.
I’m writing this post the night before and I’m just overflowing with emotions. He must know I’m talking about him because he’s squirming around in my belly (and giving me some pretty strong kicks for good measure). I’m so excited to meet Baby Foster – filled with questions of who will he look like (Luke popped out looking just like his Daddy). Will he have the same tender soul as Luke? How will Luke handle his arrival? I’m filled with prayer for him – Lord, let him be healthy and safe. And filled with prayer for myself as well – Lord, I place our lives in your hands – please guide the doctors and medical staff. Let my body and heart cooperate.
Pray. Write. Pray. Write. Pray. Write. It’s kind of all just pouring out of my heart and now I can feel the warm tears gently going down my face. Pardon my overflow of emotion – I knew I’d never make it through this post without crying!
I admit I am scared. Not overwhelmingly scared. Not enough that it’s overcoming me. Just more anxious. Enough that I try not to think about it too much. Even though I’ve had surgery so many times it still is never easy. But I’m not going to let that fear take the beauty away from the day. I’ll never forget that moment as they took Luke out of my body and I saw him for the first time. I can’t believe I get to experience that MIRACLE AGAIN! I’m so very blessed.
I truly thought it was going to be a one-time experience for me. And not just right after Luke but then facing the infertility challenges I would lose hope. And then when I would be lying in bed so ill I could barely walk to the bathroom from the Hyperemesis Gravidarum I can’t even tell you how many times I worried that this baby wouldn’t make it to this day.
But…WE ARE HERE! And I’m SO grateful that I have to stop typing for a moment to wrap my arms around my belly and give thanks to God. Because I couldn’t have done it without Him. And I couldn’t have done it without Daddy Russ’ endless love, Luke’s never ending smiles and hugs, my parents nursing and my friends care and prayer. I KNOW that I could have never done this by myself. This baby already has a village who loves him.
This year has changed me. When you are truly sick and confined to bed you take a good inward look at yourself. This year I’ve also learned the strength that lies within me. The things that I would do for my children taught me that strength. I’ve grown up a lot too. Not only have I learned about my strength, but I’ve also learned about my limitations. I respect them more and understand that I can’t do everything no matter how much I want to. I’ve also learned a new aspect of a mother’s love and the beauty of that responsibility.
Today is a beautiful day to have a baby if you ask me. We so welcome your prayers and good thoughts. Thank you for being on this journey with me. It’s been a long 9 months but I hope you will join Daddy Russ and I in celebrating this new life. Fought for, loved instantly, and cherished….forever.
To My Baby, Foster Cade:
My mama’s soul has yearned for you. God knew what lay on my heart and heard my prayers and answered with YOU. I haven’t met you yet but I already love you so much. I’ve always thought of you as my rainbow baby. The promise of hope that God gives us after the storm.
You have a Daddy who you can look to lead you throughout life and is a man you can be proud to grow up to be like. He is the foundation of our family – a man who has always known exactly who he is inside and never waivers from his God, love, family and values.
You have a brother who thinks you are his biggest birthday present. Just last week he told me, “Mommy, I’ve been waiting for Baby Bubba for FOREVER!” He seems to have known you the moment you were placed in my womb. He will be your best friend.
And you have a mother who offers her unconditional love, endless dance parties, and countless cuddles. Watching you and Luke grow will be my greatest blessings. It’s time to soar sweet boy!
I love you, Foster. Happy BIRTHday!
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