I’m doing a little happy dance this morning! Would you like to dance with me?
Today…I woke up to over 500 subscribers to sTORIbook TV! Sure it’s not that BIG of a number but it has meaning and is significant to me. Let me explain why…
So I had been wanting to start sTORIbook TV for probably over a year now. I kept holding off because I didn’t have a good place to film, didn’t have the right equipment, wasn’t sure exactly what I’d talk about, didn’t know if anyone would want to watch videos of me, basically a million barriers that I allowed to hold me back.
Finally after having my stroke I just decided – you know what – I’m just going to do it! I was stuck at home, limited in what I could do as we prepared for my heart surgery, and feeling pretty crummy about myself. So finally I just grabbed my iPhone, stomped off to my room, grabbed some makeup and did my first video (here).
It wasn’t pretty and it was far from perfect. I ended up having to do quite a few takes. As many of you know I suffer from a specific form of aphasia which is a speech impairment resulting from the stroke. I admit I felt pretty discouraged at times during that first taping. I’d reach down to tell the camera about a product, hold it up to the camera and FREEZE. Even though I knew exactly what that product was my brain wouldn’t release the word for me to actually speak it. So take after take it went until I finally made it through. You’d never be able to tell from the final video thanks to editing but behind that completed video was a lot of effort, frustration and determination.
Since then I’ve continued filming – determined that I would overcome this speech impairment. As a PR professional I’ve always needed to be at-the-ready in case a brand needed me to go on TV, hold a press conference or speak at an engagement. And there have been many times over the last month where I’ve considered what I was going to do if I was placed in one of those situations when my aphasia was the most likely to rear its ugly head. How would I do my job? Here was another angle that my old enemy, Anxiety, kept trying to use to get at me.
But I’ve learned a new way to fight! Whenever the aphasia start to get me – I turn on my iPhone and I video. I talk. I speak. I practice my speech therapy. Probably 95% of those videos will never been seen by anyone other than me. And that’s just fine. Because those videos prove to me that I still have a voice. I can still do my job. And I can accomplish my next dream of making sTORIbook TV successful. This is just the beginning of my next endeavor!
My daily devotional today was titled, “Let’s Be Encouragers!” Let me tell you about someone who has a TON of encouragers… THIS GIRL! I am beyond blessed to have so many people who leave me encouraging messages to help me get through the tough moments and lifted my spirits. And that’s exactly what I want to do today in gratitude – I want to encourage! I don’t wake up every day dancing. I don’t overcome the aphasia every time. But TODAY my perseverance feels rewarded! Today I feel like I WON!
Is there something that you’ve been wanting to do but have felt held back? GO DO IT!
Is there a health issue or impairment that you are facing? DON’T GIVE IN TO IT!
CAN I HELP? WRITE ME – TELL ME YOUR STORY! I love helping others and I’m happy to do whatever it is that I can do. Even if it’s just to listen and provide a word of encouragement.
“Encourage one another daily” (Hebrews 3:13)
How perfect is it that Jesus promises…
“If you give, you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use in giving—large or small—it will be used to measure what is given back to you” (Luke 6:38, nlt).
So I’m going to try and be an encourager. For myself – and for others.
I have been struggling lately with letting my illness hold me back. Feeling guilty for having more bad days than good. I think especially so because it’s summer and the boys saw me struggle more than ever. I kid you not, last night I dreamt that I was walking in a forest and came upon my father (who passed 4 years ago) sitting on a bench. The only thing he told me was that I need to start crossing things off my bucket list. All day long I have been going over everything that is holding me back. And tonight I find this post. Your strength and spirit so inspiring!