Hurting… Emotionally. Mentally. Physically.
When you are hurting in any of these forms it’s tough to go about your daily life – being a mother, working, being a wife and friend – trying to keep up with everything when you feel like you can barely take care of yourself. Pushing through the fatigue and pain.
It’s hard for me to admit – I’ve been struggling. And it’s time I said it out loud…I’m hurting.
Unfortunately, I’ve been dealing with some health issues for several months now (luckily NOT heart related for once and for that I am grateful). But frankly, this weekend I hit an all-time low. Daddy Russ was out of town but thankfully my mom swept in and has been a big help for me. Running errands with me, pitching in with Luke, even doing my dishes. But she also has helped heal my emotions – placing a band aid on my sadness.
I strive really hard to not get down when my health isn’t quite what I want it to be. But after months and months of an issue that is even puzzling the doctors and feeling like a constant experiment with medications; I have to say I’ve been feeling pretty sorry for myself.
I realize that not only do I have sickness of the body but I have allowed it to become a sickness of my faith and heart. Fighting against an inward suffering – allowing hopelessness to surround me in isolation. Feeling alone and forgotten.
People write open letters all the time. Today I write an open prayer for myself and for others who are reading this and might be hurting as well. Please join me in prayer.
I reach out to you today and receive healing. I acccept your grace that testifies of healing, hope and restoration. I lay my pain and brokenness at your feet. Restore me to your heart. May my brokenness be repaired for the beauty of Your glory. Thank You for healing me and making me whole.
In Jesus name,
(This song has really been speaking to me this weekend. I heard it for the first time many months ago on my friend Casey’s blog and it has stayed with me I think just waiting for the perfect time to effect me. It has helped me feel Jesus’ arms wrapped around me as I am HELD. Click here to read her post featuring this song).
“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry” (Psalm 40:1, NIV).
This is my sTORI being written as you read. – Love, Mommy Tori