Being covered in prayer is miraculous and that is exactly what EACH and every one of you have done for me. You covered me in prayer. You lifted me up into God’s arms. You accepted my fear and then washed it away with kindness. And above all, YOU made me feel LOVED. How will I ever express my gratitude?
The day before yesterday I hit publish on one of the scariest blog posts I’ve ever written. Sharing my upcoming procedure and the fear associated with it made me feel vulnerable yet free from that fear in many ways. And then your outpouring began. Comment after comment, email after email, text message after text message. I have read EACH AND EVERY one. I read them until the nurses rolled me into the operating room and I handed my phone to my mom. I read your prayers, scriptures, and compassion and went in to the operating room holding back tears not because I was scared but because I was in awe of your benevolence. Thank you so much.
God has also given me an amazing doctor. His actions yesterday have given me such a high respect for him. I’m awake during my procedures in order to not slow my heart down so I’m able to talk to him and his team the entire time. I knew they were having a tough time getting my heart to cooperate but they kept telling me, ‘We haven’t given up. We’re still trying. We’re all pulling for you.” I was confident that I was surrounded by the best team. After 5 hours of surgery my doctor walked over and took my hand and told me he had tried everything but just couldn’t fix it right then. I told him thank you that I knew he had done everything and started tearing up. Instead of patting my shoulder and walking away for his team to clean up he teared up with me, apologized, said I deserved better and assured me we would figure something out.
Long story short, we haven’t given up! I went home with a heart monitor and a new medication that I’ll take twice a day. We are going to try and see if we can get a bit more information from the heart and probably try a procedure again soon. So I’m still calling for your prayers my friends. Pray that my doctor can get the information he needs to fix this problem once and for all! I’m definitely ready for this chapter to be over but I’m so glad that I have friends and family like you to help me get through it.
Again, thank you from the bottom of my HEART!
This is my sTORI being written as you read. – Love, Mommy Tori