It’s true…I’m weepy today. I just can’t help it…the tears won’t stay in. They just keep spilling out. I just dropped Luke off with my Dad so that he can ride with him to Houston to stay for the rest of the week. Daddy Russ and I are flying out to Aspen for vacation. I am so overjoyed about going to Aspen but for some reason I’m REALLY struggling with leaving Luke. For the last couple of days it’s been weighing on me and my imagination has just run wild with all the awful things that could happen to him. I actually laid in bed last night thinking I shouldn’t go. I just keep praying for God to give me peace of mind and to keep Luke safely in his arms. I know he’ll be safe and loved every second with his Papa Daddy and GiGi but I can’t get my mind to calm down.

We went to Aspen last year and Luke stayed with my parents as well. He was about 8-months-old and I had a hard time last year as well. But it is NO WHERE near as hard as this time. I’m so used to spending each and every day, 24 hours a day with him. I know every smile, laugh and cry of that sweet boy. He’s always by my side.

Is it this hard very every mommy? When does it get easier?

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This is my sTORI being written as you read. – Love, Mommy Tori

14 Responses

  1. Ashley Aguilar

    It doesn’t girl! We took a trip to Vegas this past summer and stayed for a week…during that week, every second I thought about my baby boy and if he was Ok, having fun, sad, etc. He stayed with my parents during that time and I think my mom was annoyed with how many times I called to check on him lol. There was even a day that I sent my hubby to play poker alone so that I could stay in my hotel room and cry because I missed my baby lol. I don’t know if its something about this age that does it to you, but I don’t know how much more crazier I’ll get when my second baby boy gets here…I’ll probably never go anywhere alone…ever…never ever again.

    Reply
    • tori@torijohnsonpr.com

      Glad to hear other mommies feel the same way! I can’t even imagine having two!!!

      Reply
  2. Inga M. Cotton

    It was hard watching my five-year-old get on the school bus today.

    But spending time with just the two of you strengthens your relationship and your family. So enjoy your trip!

    Reply
    • tori@torijohnsonpr.com

      Thank you for your kind words, Inga! We definitely need some time together with just us.

      Reply
  3. Lisa @ A Little Slice of Life

    My son is 3 1/2 and he started school today. It is 5 hours 2 days a week and instead of being happy about my time to work I am feeling much like you. Just because your mind understands doesn’t mean your heart does.

    Reply
    • tori@torijohnsonpr.com

      Awww!! I bet today was really hard for you too! We can be weepy TOGETHER!!

      Reply
  4. Melanie - Que Means What

    Awww … For me, each time is different. There have been times I questioned leaving my boys behind for a trip. And honestly, there have been times I needed the break. Of course, I’m always more than ready to come home and hug ’em and kiss ’em. Plus, I stop and think how much they are having with their Nana. They absolutely. love. being. with. her. So that helps. Hang in there Tori!

    Reply
    • tori@torijohnsonpr.com

      Thank you, Melanie. I have been telling myself this is good for him to spend time with his grandparents and be used to being with someone besides me. I know it’s good for me too because I haven’t had a break in a while. But still tough. Hugs to you!

      Reply
  5. rebecca

    I think there are a lot of moms who have felt that way. I can’t say it gets easier but I have actually struggled with panic attacks and I can tell you that those fears you talked about can overtake you quickly..remember that God doesnt give you the spirit of fear but one of power, love, and a sound mind. Hope you have a wonderful trip!

    Reply
  6. Jenn

    My (2) boys are getting older & I thought it would get easier with age & it still is hard. But, I saw this recently and I try to remember it when I leave them for a long period of time. It said when young people have the opportunity to develop strong bonds with other people other than their parents, they become more well rounded, better able to adapt, & exposed to new ways of thinking/doing things . This provides a experience for them we’ll never b able to give them. It also benefits u too because it gives u chance to maybe look at things at new perspective. Maybe, get some insights into a recurring situation u might have a home. So, Just chill out! Relax! Enjoy! Have Fun! Hope this helps! Love yah!

    Reply
  7. Lauren

    I have been blessed with the opportunity to on a week long trip and I find myself SICK with worry about leaving my boys behind.and they’ll be with their father while I’m gone too! What’s a mother to do??

    Reply
  8. Lyndsey

    I know the feeling!! It’s still hard and Aiden is 8!!! All you can do is pray!! Have a FABULOUS trip!!

    Reply
  9. jennifer

    tori,
    to me, it does not get easier. i still struggle when he leaves for the weekend with his father. its only because i don’t know what is over there. but when i am seperated from him due to vacation i just try to make myself busy and not let my brain take over. i can’t tell you how many horrible thoughts the devil puts in my mind about what COULD happen to my angel and then i just have to say a prayer and try to calm down. Somtimes i have to take something to help me sleep too. I’ll be here for you if you ever just want to talk about it. i too, can’t imagine having a second child.. worring about my one is hard enough. and that quote you posted in your post brought tears to my eyes, it is so true!! love you girl..

    Reply

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