I’ve been staring at the computer screen for the past 10 minutes stumbling over what to write. I have never in my life felt such a pull of emotions in varying directions and the incapacity to be able to put them in to words. I’m a writer. That’s what I do. I write my feelings. Now I find that I’ve reached a point where I have such an abundance of emotions that I can’t seem to figure out what to say. And the horrible weight that am I going to say it RIGHT? Am I going to be able to do her justice?
My great grandmother passed away today. I stood holding my mother’s hand at the foot of her bed as she took her last breath, her tired heart stopped beating and she was welcomed at Heaven’s Gates. She was surrounded on all sides by people who loved her. I’ve never been with someone as they left our world and I don’t think I can really describe the awe of that exact moment. The world seems to cease turning. The noise around you seems to go silent. Your worries and unimportant troubles seem to obliterate. There is such a clarity of life at that moment that is pure and good.
Now as I sit here and write I feel utter exhaustion. Not only exhaustion but a feeling of being torn. I am so happy that she is at peace but I have such a profound sadness as well that myself and the world has lost something important. I can’t tell you how many people have said, “she was such a special lady.” Or “she meant so much to me.” It’s because that is who my great grandmother was. She was SPECIAL. She was from a world where family was the most important, people didn’t hurt each other in spite and life didn’t revolve around materialistic values. Her wit and intelligence down to the end was always amazing. And her unselfishness and devotion to caring for others was always beyond admirable. To this day I don’t think I ever heard Grandma say anything bad about another person. She affected and infected people’s lives who knew her.
But I know she is in Heaven now. I can’t help but think she just needed the Aggies and the Cowboys to win one last time.
sTORIbook friends – I can not tell you how much your prayers, messages, emails and comments have meant to my family and I. Many of them brought tears to our eyes as you have overwhelmed us with love and kindness.
Lastly, I just want to say, “I love you, Grandma. And I give glory to GOD for YOU!”
This is my sTORI being written as you read. – Love, Mommy Tori
Tori, I am in tears reading this. I know she is looking down from heaven right now, loving you and your family while she rejoices in the glory of our Creator. You were so blessed to be able to say goodbye. It’s been almost two years since my PopPop passed, and I didn’t have that opportunity. One of the few sadnesses I still carry. He’s in Heaven, too, and I like to think he greeting your Grandma when she finally arrived home. God is great, and He blesses us with incredible people like your Grandma, and embraces those very same people for their faithfulness.
Hi Ashleigh – I know she is definitely rejoicing in heaven with the rest of her family and friends that are up there! I bet PopPop gave Grandma a big welcome! Your words truly comforted me during this time. Thank you so much!
Tori …… Alena is a jewel that shimmers brightly in my life. She loved me in spite of myself. She cared about others so much. She taught me to sew and sent me a baby blanket when eldest was born. She hugged me tight on my wedding day and whispered in my ear ” your still my girl”. Next to my mammy she was the neatest granny I knew. The world is a bit less special with out her here. I hope your sadness comforts you . and you know how luckey you where to be her great-granddaughter
Hi Cristal! This was such a sweet note! It makes me so happy to hear how others loved my great grandmother too! How special to have a blanket from her! I truly see how very blessed we all were to have her in our lives!
So sorry for loss my friend. My thoughts and Prayers are with you and your family.
Thank you so very much, Amanda!
MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ON SUCH A DIFFICULT DAY. I PRAY THE LORD LAY HIS HAND ON YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS AND BRING PEACE KNOWING THAT THOUGH NO LONGER HERE ON EARTH, TOGETHER THEY NOW HOLD HANDS IN HEAVEN. MAY TIME HEAL THE HURT HER LOSS HAS LEFT TO ALL WHO LOVE HER, BUT HER WARMTH BE FELT WITH EACH PASSING DAY WHERE HAPPINESS EXUDES FROM THE HOME GOD CALLED HER HOME TO.
WHAT A BLESSING OF LIFE AND LOVE BESTOWED UPON YOU ALL WITH SUCH A VERY GREAT, GREAT GRANDMOTHER! MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU…
Thank you so much sweet friend!! Such a beautiful and perfect prayer!
My heart is heavy over your family’s loss, Tori. I know there’s rejoicing over your great-grandma being with Jesus, but a huge hole here on earth that you feel in your hearts. Covering you in prayers this AM.
Carrie
Thank you, Carrie! So good to hear from you! Your prayers are the best!
What a beautiful tribute to your grandma. She sounds like a truly amazing woman. I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it was for me to lose my grandparents. I think of them all the time. Prayers for you.
~FringeGIrl
Thank you so much! She was wonderful! Grandparents always have such special places in our hearts!
Tori, I am so so sorry to hear about your loss. If you need anything at all, please holler!
Thank you so much, Sara!
Through your words I already feel like I missed out on not having met your amazing grandma. And now her legacy passes down to you, and to Luke and to everyone else she has touched. Much love to you and your fam at this time.
I am sorry I am so late in replying. I can tell from your posts and photos was a sweet and wonderful lady she was, which I know makes her even harder to lose. I will continue to pray for you and your family, may God comfort you in your time of sadness and loss.