How do you say goodbye? How do you tell someone it’s ok to let go?
My mom called yesterday and said they were moving my great grandma in to hospice. As I drove to the hospital yesterday these were the questions that consumed my thoughts. A few weeks ago I asked you for prayers for my 95-year-old great grandmother (see post here). She had been doing so much better – that fabulous old lady is one heck of a fighter! But in the last couple of days she’s started to go downhill.
So now there is nothing else the doctors can do and it’s time for us to say goodbye. When Luke and I got to the hospital we walked out of the elevator, I immediately saw my mom and great aunt sitting in one of those little corner waiting areas. My heart immediately sank as I saw their faces. They just looked so sad, tired and were deep in serious conversation. But as soon as they looked up and saw Luke he just brought smiles to their grief-strained faces. It’s amazing how children just light the world around them no matter the circumstances.
The family rotated helping me with Luke so that I could visit with my grandma. Luke, of course, proceeded to run like a little monkey down the hallways yelling and laughing like a banshee. I get really nervous about not inconveniencing other people with my child (particularly in a setting such as a hospital) but when I saw how that boisterous little boy seemed to give everyone a break from the sadness I just decided to not force him to sit and be quiet (in relative moderation by keeping him away from the hospital rooms). By the end of the evening the chaplain, fellow hospital visitors and other medical staff all knew Luke by name.
Before going in to see my grandma I found myself really nervous. I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to say. I walked in to the room and there was my grandfather (Papa) sitting there holding her hand just talking to her. She was awake and was talking back so I walked up and cheerily said, “Hi Grandma!” I sat at the foot of her bed and Papa quietly slipped out. I just sat there and talked to her about Luke and let her know how much we all loved her. I asked her if there was anything I could get her and she just said, “I hope the Good Lord takes me soon.”
My voice caught in my throat but I managed to get out a, “I know Grandma. He’s right here with us.” I was glad when my stepfather, Don, slipped in the room at that very moment and sat down with us. I was having trouble talking and was trying so hard to not let the tears slip from my eyes. He’s amazing and he just started some small talk about the first time he met grandma. He kept the conversation rolling and I just sat there holding my grandmother’s hand. Finally, I knew I needed to go get Luke to take him home so I gave her a hug and told her I loved her and hesitantly left the room, feeling the need to just say I love you one more time.
Today, my cousins and other family members are going to be arriving in town. They’ve moved her from the hospital to a really nice hospice home so we can all gather and say our goodbyes but there is something else we are going to do. We are GOING TO CELEBRATE and GIVE THANKS….for this amazing woman who has been in our lives for so long, for the great life that she had, as well as for our family.
So today sTORIbook friends, I send up a call for prayers again. Please pray for a quick and peaceful passing of my great grandmother. Please pray for my family and I who are still here. I know the unseen, but ever-present God has his arms around my family right now.
Psalm 46:1 – God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble.
This is my sTORI being written as you read. – Love, Mommy Tori
You have such a way with words. I am sorry about the situation, but am so thankful that you have the comfort of KNOWING YOUR GREAT GRANDMOTHER WILL BE WITH JESUS. What a blessing!!!! Good bye is only for a short time for people who have Jesus as their savior!!!!
Thank you sweet friend!
Tori, I’m so sorry your grandma’s health has deteriorated. Your post reminds me well of how I felt when my grandmothers passed away. I have tears in my eyes for them, for you, for your grand mother, and for me. For all of us who have lost people who are precious to us. But your decision to celebrate and give thanks is inspiring. thank you for sharing this difficult time.
Keeping you all in my prayers.
Thank you so much, Colleen. Your words mean so much to me and my family as well.
your grandmother, you and your family will be in my prayers!
Thank you, Erica! We really appreciate it!
Our prayers are with all of you.
Thank you, Julie!! Give Bruce and the kids a big hug for me!! Miss you guys!
Tori, I’m so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers.
Thank you, Alicia!! Prayers are very welcomed!
Tori,
I also know the magnitude of pain that comes with losing a grandmother.
Lord,
Be with tori and her family. Wrap your arms around them and send a fleet of angels to carry her grandmother home in your perfect timing. we praise you for your holiness, your goodness and your faithfulness. We praise you for the life that tori’s grandmother lives and the family and people she impacts. we know a loving grandmother is a special gift from you and we thank you for the relationship and memories tori will forever keep in her heart and pass on to her children and grandchildren. Holy spirit, send peace into this families heart and remind them that “grandma” will be more alive in heaven than any of us are here on earth. Thank you for the courage of tori to share her heart with us and the work you are doing in her. In jesus name. Amen.
Big hugs!
Vicki
Amen! Victoria, your prayer means so much to me I honestly could never put it in to words. How can I thank you enough for taking the time to write such a heartfelt, meaningful prayer. God is great and GOOD and he shall comfort us in our time of need (AND bring in to our lives new friends like YOU). Thank you for being my friend.
So sorry to hear this. my condolences and prayers to your family and to your Great grandmother to prepare hearts and minds.
Many thanks, Veronica! I am so grateful for all these wonderful comments that everyone is sharing.
I will be thinking of you and your family…asking God to surround you with peace that only He can bring. ((Hugs))
Thank you so much, Melody! I am so blessed to have a family of strong believers in Christ and we are coming together with HIM around us.
Wishing you and your family strength during this time, Tori. Your family seems amazing, and to have a strong matriarch is truly a blessing. I love those photos of Luke with her—talk about a wide span of generations! I think it’s great that you’re keeping her spirit a part of you and celebrating the person she is.
Thank you blogger friend! We do have a strong family. We’ve been so blessed to have her in our lives for so long!
Tori
I’m so sorry you are having to go through this. You are such a talented writer. That brought many tears to many eyes. It made me reflect on my grandparents. My children never got to meet their great grand parents it makes me very sad. Family is so special & is something u can never take very granted. At least your grandmother will b at peace & and will not b suffering anymore. I’ll b praying for u & your family. If u need anything. I’m just right down the road. Let me know. Stay strong!
Thank you so much, Jennifer! I really really appreciate your kind note. Family is so special.