Friend. Companion. Nurse. Listener. Cuddler.

Havana was all of this and so much more.

Today I said goodbye to my sweet Havana (lovingly known as Pookie). I don’t think I ever expected the grief to be this overwhelming and truthfully I don’t feel like writing but it almost feels like an injustice to her to not recognize the impact she has had on my life.

The sTORIbook is a space where I write about my life, loves and everything that is important to me so I’m going to write about her. Because she was all of those things.

Havana has been with me for almost 15 years. She’s been my constant companion giving me unending love. From college, marriage and new apartments in new cities. To our first home, babies and then toddlers… she’s always been there. She was my ultimate in-home nurse throughout my pacemaker surgeries, when I was stuck on IVs in bed pregnant with the boys suffering from HG, following my stroke and implant in my heart. She was always by my side.

She has been a blessing throughout my entire life. She gave her love freely and never asked for anything in return.

Today I said a prayer and asked God to ease her pain. I told her what a good dog and friend she had been. I held her and I told her I loved her one last time before she took her final breath.

And now she is gone and I can’t help but feel it was all not enough. How could I tell her thank you for a lifetime of selfless love and companionship?

The pain is excruciating and while I know she is in a better place the selfishness in me would do anything to have her back.

I know time will heal but for tonight…I want to remember her. I want to remember her healthy and happy. And I want you to get to see who this amazing gentle soul was. Please meet Havana…

Havana – I’ll never forget you. Thank you for blessing me with your love. I love you. Goodbye my friend.


San Antonio Fashion Blogger


3 Responses

  1. Jackie Kirkindoll

    Havana was such a sweet little dog but a big heart!! She will be missed by all her family including me. I’m saying a prayer for peace for you & Luke and strength to tell Luke. I know it will be hard. Love you!!

  2. Audrey Stewart

    I am sitting here crying as I read this. I shelter elderly rescue cats, and I lost 3 last year , and my “Special” this year. I do feel your pain. I am so sorry you are going through this. You and Havana are in my prayers.

  3. Erin

    Tori, my heart is breaking reading this. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Our fur babies are every bit a part of our lives as the humans are, and I know you’ve been through and are going through so much right now. I hope you find peace soon and your hurt heart heels to only know the joy she brought you. Much love, friend.


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