A couple weeks ago I wrote one of those super honest posts – the ones where I’m kind of embarrassed to tell people (much less people I don’t even know) but it was also important for me to write about. My goal with this blog have never been to present the “perfect life” to you but to be honest and hopefully for people to find a place of inspiration.
The topic I wrote about was on “Getting Passed By” (click here to read). It was all about feeling like I was getting passed by in life – from my career, to the blog and even as a mother. Since writing that post I first want to say THANK YOU to all of you who commented and wrote me to provide encouragement or even just let me know that I wasn’t alone in feeling that way. Those little notes really helped to get me back to a better place. But they also helped me to realize WHY I was in that place to begin with and HOW to get out of it.
And so much of my struggles were because of one thing… I was comparing myself to others. I had allowed myself to stop worrying about myself and started worrying about others. I’m not going to tell you that I’ve completely figured it all out but I have compiled everything that I learned into a list that has been helping me on how to stop comparing yourself to others.
Side note: Of course, I have to throw some fashion in as well and have a red and white look that I really love how it turned out! Enjoy!
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1. Realize that it’s a losing battle.
Seriously. This is the first thing you need to do. Comparing yourself to others is an absolute LOSING battle. You will NEVER win. You will only succeed in casting yourself in self-doubt and insecurity.
2. Compare yourself to… yourself.
Instead of comparing yourself (maybe it’s your numbers, your salary, or any other measurement) to someone else compare your success to your own success. Are you more successful than you were last year? Are you making more than you made two years ago? Are you in better shape than you were 6 months ago? Also think about what are the metrics that you want to be measured by. Is it the income you make in a year, is it the number of social media followers you have or is it something else? Don’t define yourself by others metrics.
3. Accept your limitations.
I’ve said this over and over but give yourself some grace. You can’t do everything (and by you I mean ME because I constantly think I can do everything and then get myself completely overwhelmed). Ask yourself… “Have you done the best at what you could do?” If the answer is yes then be proud of yourself! Could you have done it better? Then take the self criticsm and make it constructive on how you can improve next time. We all can’t be perfect all the time. Accept that.
4. Change comparison to INSPIRATION.
I think this is a big one. Take something negative and make it positive. Use others to inspire you to work harder and be better. Use that person as a role model or you might be able to even ask them to serve as your mentor. Two heads are better than one. It doesn’t always have to be a competition – it’s all in the outlook.
5. Disconnect from social media.
This one definitely applies to me but I think social media many times plays a big role in the negativity that comes from comparisons. With social media we see a very small picture of life. And, frequently, many people only post the positive giving you a perception of something that might not actually exist. Take a break from social media. Step away from it all. I bet you’ll feel refreshed.
6. Be grateful and be PROUD.
This is one of the things that is the most important to me in life… gratitude. I think so many issues arise from a lack of it. Be grateful for all of the things that you have, opportunities that have come your way and the life you live. It can always be worse! And also… be proud. Be proud of yourself, your accomplishments and your achievements!
I hope that these tips might help if you ever find yourself comparing yourself to others. I certainly know it’s an easy hole to fall in to. At least the next time I find myself doing it I can pull up this post!
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